Secured Attachment in Babies and Why is it Important?
Secure attachment parenting is the latest buzzword in the world of parenthood. It is all about how your baby bonds with you and how secure the attachment is. The bond of mothers with infants are created as soon as the baby is born and placed in the mother’s arms. But it takes time and careful actions to create a secure attachment with your infant.
There is science behind the theory of building secure attachment with your baby. It has been proven that attachment parenting can help babies grow up more confident, social and self-assured. They perform well in the academics, are empathetic and form bond with others easily.
Hence every parent should consider secure attachment parenting for the lifetime well-being of their babies.
Attachment Parenting and the Different Attachment Types
100% safe attachment babies –
In securely attachment parenting, the child feels 100% safe, especially when the primary caregiver is around. Say, the primary giver is the mother, then the child will feel safe and be happy as well as active when its mother is around. The child will usually cry when it cannot see the mother and will go back to being its independent self again when the mother comes back. Secure attachment with babies forms when their primary caregivers respond to the baby’s cues at once. Meaning the primary caregiver is always present and responds readily to the needs of the baby.
Insecure and avoidant babies –
Such a baby will not care when their primary caregiver is absent. They are usually quiet, inactive and doesn’t differentiate between strangers and their primary caregivers. This happens when secure attachment parenting is missing. The primary caregiver doesn’t respond immediately to the baby’s needs and so they learn to not form attachments. It does not require saying that such babies are not very happy or active, since they lack the security of attachment with their primary caregiver.
Insecure and resistant babies –
This is another form that is the result of absence of secure attachment parenting. Insecure and resistant babies are often anxious when their primary caregiver is not around but behaves ambivalent when the caregiver is around. They seem to be unsure of them selves because they are unsure of the attachment with their primary caregiver. This usually happens the primary caregiver is not consistent in responding to the needs of the baby. Sometimes the caregiver rushes to console the baby while sometimes the baby is left on its own. Needless to say, such babies do not give the secure baby attachment signs like being happy and active as they should be.
Building Secure Attachment with Your Baby
It is important to build secure attachment with your baby because it is the foundation to the mental health of your baby. By attaching to you, its parents, your baby will develop the sense of safety and of being protected. Safe attachment parenting allows babies to securely explore their surroundings, form bond with others and be themselves, because they know someone is there to look after them. But how do you form this secure attachment with your baby? Here’s how:
Take turns to be the primary caregiver –
Handling and taking care of infants can be and can take a toll on the mental as well as physical health of the primary caregiver, which is usually the mother. If the mother is not well, it will be difficult for her to form secure attachment with the baby. Hence, it is important to take turns among both the parents in being the primary caregiver. Let the mother rest for a while when the father takes care of the baby. This will not only ensure that the mother is getting adequate rest but will also help form secure attachment among the father and the baby.
Be present for and with the baby –
Many people say that if you hold the baby too much you will spoil it. But it is not only untrue, it can be harmful for the baby in the long run. There is nothing called overly affectionate or too much love when it comes to babies. One of the fundamental requisites of secure attachment parenting is to immediately respond to baby’s distress calls. Pick them up when they cry, cuddle with them, play with them, and just be present. Your baby will realize soon that someone is there to take care and, in the process, they will become attached to you. This is the crux of secured attached parenting, to be there for the baby and form attachment.
Secure Attachment Baby Signs – What to Look for?
The thing about secure attachment parenting is that you would have direct, sure shot signs that you baby is feeling 100% safe and secure. You don’t have to be present at all times to form the secure attachment. Your attachment to your baby is not determined by whether you keep your baby at the daycare. What matters is the quality of time you spend together and not the quantity of time.
But if you are still worried if you are indeed successful in implementing secured attachment parenting, here are the babies secure attachment signs to look for:
- How active is your baby? If your baby is playful, smiles at you and communicate with you through various cues, it is a sure shot sign of secure attachment.
- How does your baby react when you are not around? If your baby cries and holds on to you when a stranger approach them and if they look happy to see you after you leave them for a while, it is also a sign that your secured attachment parenting is working.
Secure Attachment for Baby and Its Importance
The importance of forging secure attachment with babies cannot be emphasized enough. It has an immense effect on their well-being and health. Secure attachment parenting babies grow up to be more confident, healthier and mentally stronger. So, if you want your baby to have the best life, make sure to consider implementing secured attachment parenting.