Arranged marriages in Turkey are more common now in rural areas than in the bigger cities. The bigger cities like Antalya and Istanbul have mostly shifted towards the more modern culture of dating and making their own choices of a partner. However, arranged marriages in Turkey have been a part of the local culture for ages and are still not uncommon.
The most popular Turkish dramas are the ones that are about arranged marriages. People all around the world like and watch these dramas about Turkish arranged marriages.
But what exactly do you mean by an arranged marriage in Turkey? Let us find out.
Do They Have Arranged Marriages in Turkey?
Yes, arranged marriages in Turkey are still quite prevalent. But how it is arranged has evolved over the years.
Arranged marriages mean exactly what the name suggests. The marriage between two people is set-up or ‘arranged’ by others, usually the parents of the bride and the groom.
The most widespread kind of arranged marriage in Turkey is when the parents of a boy or a girl looking for their spouses within their community amongst relatives and friends. They then set-up a meeting among the family members as well as the girl and the boy.
The thing to note here is that, unlike what many people believe, most often neither the girl nor the boy is forced into a marriage that they do not agree to. The families meet as well as the girl and the boy meet. And, if everything is good between everyone only then the wedding is arranged.
This whole process of arranging marriages in Turkey by finding a bride for a boy or a groom for a girl usually happens in rural areas. In these areas, it is still taboo for girls and boys to date openly.
In larger cities though, it is much like any other western country, whereby the use of dating sites to find a suitable match is rampant. However, if a girl or a boy fails to find their match all by themselves, the family steps in and arranges marriage in Turkey for such youngsters.
Arranged Marriage in Turkey – The Positive and The Negative
While some might feel that arranged marriages in Turkey are such outdated concepts, there are several positives to this tradition that has been practiced for ages. It has been proven effective for such long, so there must be something that still works with this method of finding a spouse for the Turkish boys and girls. Here is the benefit and the drawback of arranging marriages in Turkey:
Turkish people are extremely family-oriented. Even grown-up men stay with their parents. There is a good side to this. The children can take care of their parents when they get old and the parents are always there to help the children should they ever need it. Hence, the new addition to the family, the bride or the groom, has to get along with the whole family in such a case. Thus, arrange marriages in Turkey has a good side to it. Since the whole family meets up before arranging a marriage in Turkey, the chances of conflict after marriage reduce significantly.
Some families in Turkey, just like anywhere else in the world, are stricter than the others. In such families choosing a spouse by the boy or the girl themselves can cause serious conflicts. Furthermore, if the family is strict and arranges a marriage in Turkey even when either the boy or the girl does not agree to, it can cause heartbreak, conflicts, and problems in the family later on. However, this is not very common because Turkish parents are quite liberal and most of all they love their children and want them to be happy. So, even if they arrange a marriage in Turkey for their children, they will always ask for the children’s consent first.
How are the Arranged Marriages in Turkey?
Once the marriage is arranged by both families, it is usually the family of the bride who arranges for the engagement ceremony. The engagement ceremony finalizes the arranged marriage in Turkey. Once the engagement is done, the families begin organizing the grand wedding celebrations.
The wedding celebrations in Turkey are worth experiencing and if you can witness one, consider yourself lucky. The wedding celebrations start with the traditional henna night. There is a lot of singing, dancing, and merriment. Organized by the bride’s family, relatives and friends gather together to say farewell to the bride. The bride’s hands are adorned with henna paste, hence the name. It is a kind of bachelorette party for the bride in Turkey.
After the henna night, the wedding takes place. Regardless of whether it is an arranged marriage in Turkey or a love marriage, receiving the blessings of all the elders of the family are important. Thus, the wedding is a grand family affair whereby all the friends and relatives of both the bride and the groom come together to celebrate the union of the two families, along with the two individuals.
Having an Arranged Marriage in Turkey
If you are a foreigner and have been staying in Turkey for a long, you would probably be aware of the arranged marriage tradition of Turkey. You too can be a part of the celebrations and merriment if you have friends in Turkey.
If you are looking for a partner and wondering if you too can have an arranged marriage in Turkey, know that it is not entirely impossible. The reason is oftentimes friends too play the role of matchmakers and arrange marriages in Turkey. So, if you have been eyeing a handsome Turkish man, just get hold of a common friend to introduce you two and you too can have an arranged marriage in Turkey. You can then be a part of the amazing traditions and culture while enjoying the amazing family life with your charming Turkish husband. A fairy tale that is waiting to come true.